The Dress Every Lady Needs + Moving Emotions

First off, I want to say thank you all for the kind words and messages about Jake’s match results. Before I could even announce it, I had a lot of people reaching out to me asking where we matched. **yes I said WE; I am ranting a bit about this at the bottom of the post** I was honestly planning on waiting to announce it until the Monday after Match Day, but decided to do it on Saturday instead. My Match Day announcement post has by far been my highest viewed post in a single day. We are truly blessed by your support! The Anesthesiology program at the University  of Alabama-Birmingham is one of the top in the country. As excited as I am about the big move, I am an emotional roller coaster right now. I wanted to be honest with y’all and share my thoughts about moving. Warning: this is going to be a long post! There is a lot on my mind.

As mentioned in this post here, when we found out Jake matched at UAB, it was no surprise. They had told him that he was ranked on their list in a position where he would definitely match there if he wanted to, and since Jake put them as his #1 anesthesia program, we went in expecting that UAB would be where we ended up. I posted a video on Facebook with our reaction and even had a comment saying, “That wasn’t much of a reaction.”  We had been assuming that’s where we would end up ever since submitting the rank list, but it was nice to get the confirmation!

Finally knowing where will be 4 years later is amazing! We were nothing but excited all weekend. This feeling lasted until Monday.

Moving Emotions

From Monday on, I have been sad. We are leaving the place where we started our marriage, where Jake started med school, and where I started my first real “big girl” job. It was the first city we got to explore together and make our own. We also have family 1.5 hours away and 3 hours away from OKC. When we move, it will be either a flight away or a 10 hour drive to visit both our families. This is a little hard for me to take in.

My job here has given me such amazing memories and a great learning experience. It was the first full-time job I got out of college that actually related to my degree. My job has also been trying at times. Working with seniors can be hard, but it has been so rewarding, too. There were times I hated this job and looked for other jobs, but ultimately I am thankful I stuck with it. I have learned a lot and met some amazing people at this company. I am also thankful for this new opportunity to move on. I am very used to my job and to be honest would probably have just stayed doing the same thing for another 4-5 years. Doing the same job for 4 years can get old, fast, but I am also a comfort creature who really likes familiarity and routine. I am thankful for this opportunity to get out of my comfort zone, as I usually do not like to try anything new and drastic like this. Finding a new job in a new city absolutely terrifies me, but I’ve done it before and I know it will work out great.

We started our new life as a married couple in Oklahoma City, moving here right after we got back from our honeymoon. I am also sad to leave our beautiful home where we made so many memories. It seems like the cost of living in Birmingham is slightly higher, so I don’t know what our new house will be like. This was the first home we lived in together and got to call our own. We also met some of the most welcoming neighbors. The week we moved in, we were welcomed with a card from another neighbor. We have monthly ladies’ nights, so that will be hard to leave. We are happy to leave the HOA we are in though and will not miss that part, as HOA rules are pretty ridiculous and unfortunately there are some people who act like the HOA rules are on the same level as the Constitution of the United States!

I am sad to leave all of the OKC blogger friends I have made. I remember looking up to so many of them before I started my own blog, and now I call them my friends. I will greatly miss them, but am thankful I can still keep up with their blogs and Instagram accounts.

I am pretty terrified of change. Sometimes I need guidance and this will really teach me a lot.  I am a “safe” person who lives in my comfort zone. When making Jake’s rank list, we asked ourselves, “when else are we going to do something a little crazy? When else will we have a concrete start and end date (Jake’s residency starts in late June 2018 and will end in late June 2022)?”.

I am scared to have to make new friends. I am a little on the reserved side, so making friends isn’t always easy for me. I will have to be more outgoing. This is good for me! I already feel welcomed by many sweet Birmingham wives who have reached out to me. I know I will meet some amazing people there. Jake has 20 other people in his residency class, and 17 of them are men, so I am hopeful they will have lovely wives that I can be friends with.

The Positives About Moving

The best part about our move is, as I mentioned above, Jake will receive top notch residency training. One of the people who interviewed Jake at his Harvard interview did his residency at UAB and spent over a decade as the UAB chairman before spending over a decade as the chairman at Harvard. That says a lot about how good UAB is!

The location is about 2 hours to Atlanta, 3 hours to Nashville (one of my favorite cities), 4 hours to Memphis, 4.5 hours to Rosemary Beach in Florida, 5 hours to New Orleans, 4.5 hours to Gulf Shores and Orange Beach and many more fun weekend trip places. With Jake being so busy during residency we won’t necessarily be able to plan travels out as far as in advance as we do now, so it’s nice to have several fun places within fairly easy driving distance. We plan to do a lot of nearby traveling.

With these down feelings, I am faithful God has a plan for us. We ended up matching in Birmingham for a reason. I need to remember to lean on him and get involved in a church there ASAP. Something that has been on my heart lately is “Bloom where you are planted.” This is what I intend to do. Birmingham is where we plan to start a family of our own. I know when we look back after residency we will be so thankful for this experience!

About The Outfit:

Sorry about the ramble; if you came for the outfit details, here they are. These pics were all taken in the skyline of OKC, so I thought they were pretty fitting when talking about our next chapter. This is one of those dresses that every lady needs to have in their closet. I never wear a bodycon dress. They are usually not flattering on me. This dress hugs every curve perfectly and is so flattering. This dress runs true to size. Kimonos are so in style right now, so I added this gorgeous Lilly Pulitzer one (thank goodness Birmingham has a Lilly store, which OKC does not!). I also added my favorite bamboo bag tote. Please note this one is a dupe and I highly recommend it. It is the smaller size. (I have had several people ask what size it is).

Shop This Look:

**”We” Rant**

I didn’t respond to the person, but I received a mean message from someone claiming they are a partner of a resident physician. They said it is really insulting  how I always say “we” matched and about how I marketize Jake’s medical school journey is “offensive”. While obviously I am not a medical student and I personally didn’t match into a residency program, I consider this last chapter of our lives and all the next chapters to be about “we” and “us”.  Jake has worked his tail off to provide us with a better future, and I have also given a lot to this marriage, too. I am part of this medical school process and will be moving to a new city with him.

I have been with Jake since day 1 of this medical school journey, from before we were even old enough to go to the bars back in college all the way up to today. I supported him during the heart breaking time of being wait-listed and ultimately rejected his first time applying to medical school. It was hard! Part of us worried he might never get the chance to pursue his dream of being a doctor. And I was there when he finally got accepted off the wait-list after applying the second time around. I remember him and I sitting together at his parents’ office during our lunch break. Jake called me over to the computer and said he needed to show me something. There was his acceptance into OU College of Medicine. It was an emotional experience that I’ll never forget. And I was with him as he studied day and night for his first board exam.  He scored in the top 20% nationwide and we both were so proud. I have had to go engagement parties, weddings, and my grandmother’s funeral without him, since he had huge exams coming up. Just like Jake has made the sacrifice to work so hard these last few years, I, too, have had to sacrifice not having as much free time with him as I wish we could have. Believe me, I am part of this journey, too!  I was with him when he got all As during 3rd year of medical school. I was with him as he got induced into the Alpha Omega Honor Society (an honor given to those who are selected out of the top 1/6th of each class). Boy, did he prove the OU med school acceptance committee wrong by pulling that off! And I was with him as we found out where WE matched. So yes, this is a “we” thing.

If this offends you, then you’re too hypersensitive and YOU need to get over yourself. I am NOT sorry that I am one of Jake’s #1 fans (I would say I am his #1 fan, but his mom is definitely as proud and supportive of him as I am; we’ve both been blessed to have such wonderful support from our families through this whole process).

WOW that was a lot! Maybe next time I won’t be so emotional, but that feels good to get off my chest (free therapy!). We are currently planning a trip to house-hunt in Birmingham soon and have a lot of other travels coming up, so stay tuned for the upcoming content. I look forward to bringing y’all into our new life in Birmingham!

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31 Comments

  1. March 22, 2018 / 7:16 am

    Congratulations on you and your husbands new upcoming adverntures. Change is hard for me as ell, but I know God has a plan and always takes care of His people. Warm wishes. xoxo

    • abyersguide
      Author
      March 22, 2018 / 9:43 am

      Thank you so much. We are blessed to have this opportunity and new chapter of our lives. Amen! God is good. ❤️

  2. March 22, 2018 / 7:25 am

    To the cad who felt the need to correct you: I, much like Courtney, refer to my husband’s military service as “ours”, his assignments as “ours, and his Soldiers as “ours”. Do you know why? Because for the last 20 years, I have been following him around the world, and back, whilst putting my career on hold to support him in his. So, everything he does affects “US”, not just him. PS: Get over yourself.
    Signed, Marta

    • abyersguide
      Author
      March 22, 2018 / 9:47 am

      Oh Marta, you made my day! I am so glad we’re on the same page. Amen, sister! It is all part of OUR journey too. You are amazing, God bless you and your family. I can never thank y’all enough for the military service. I am so grateful for military families. Y’all make the biggest sacrifice and I so appreciate it.

  3. oneswainkycouple
    March 22, 2018 / 7:39 am

    I love you guys!! “We” is most definitely a thing, even in this situation! Marriage is about the “we” biblically and you guys are staying true to that! I love how much you support your husband in all of this. So happy for you both!

    Katherine | http://www.oneswainkycouple.com

    • abyersguide
      Author
      March 22, 2018 / 9:48 am

      Thank you so much, Katherine. We love y’all too. Amen! It is definitely “we.” I am so glad we are on the same page. I love how much you support Brandon too. It makes me so happy seeing how much y’all adore each other and adore the lord in your marriage.

  4. March 22, 2018 / 8:01 am

    Great blog today! Birmingham is going to be a great experience for y’all. Moving and meeting new people will be fun. It’s so exciting! We are so proud of y’all! I agree with you on using term “we” for match. Maybe that blogger did not have someone as special as you to love and support them thru undergrad,medical school and life. I’m glad y’all have each other.

    • abyersguide
      Author
      March 22, 2018 / 8:09 am

      Absolutely! It’s hard now but we will look back and be so happy we did it. Thank you so much.

      They are a very unhappy person. It wasn’t a blogger, all of the bloggers I’ve encountered have been really supportive and sweet.

  5. Kari M
    March 22, 2018 / 8:22 am

    Congrats on your husband matching. Just a word of advice for future blogging success. The fact that you are offended enough to constantly make posts about people’s comments that you find rude indicates that you need to get a thicker skin. People aren’t always going to like what you say/post, but it doesn’t reflect well on you when you to feel like you have to make a big deal every time someone disagrees with you.

    • abyersguide
      Author
      March 22, 2018 / 8:43 am

      Thank you! Oh absolutely I know not everyone is going to like me and that’s perfectly fine with me. If they don’t like me they don’t need to come to my page. I pick my battles and have had other things said too that I just ignore. This is something I didn’t feel right letting go. I have a lot of followers that are med students or married to a student/resident and I want to make sure they understand they’re a HUGE part of the journey too.

  6. Kim Moore
    March 22, 2018 / 10:06 am

    I am sort of new to your blog but I enjoy your photos and your outfits are definitely in line with what I wear so I enjoy that part! You are your husband’s partner and of course it is “we”. Ignore the haters girlfriend and keep doing your thing! Marriage is hard enough without people judging!

    • abyersguide
      Author
      March 22, 2018 / 10:52 am

      Welcome, Kim! I am so glad you have found my blog. Your kind words and support mean the world to me. Amen! Thank you for that. Life is hard, so we just need to all be nice to each other 😉

  7. March 22, 2018 / 2:48 pm

    I will miss you so much in OKC but I know you have great things ahead of you! Birmingham sounds like a wonderful place!

    • abyersguide
      Author
      March 22, 2018 / 3:02 pm

      I will miss you too. Absolutely. Please visit anytime.

  8. Tabbie
    March 22, 2018 / 5:51 pm

    WE have made several moves to new states for my husbands job and it is stressful but also a memorable adventure.

    • abyersguide
      Author
      March 22, 2018 / 5:52 pm

      I’m so glad to hear you’ve had a memorable adventure together. I bet it was hard, but y’all probably cherish the memories.

  9. Jaymi Benjamin
    March 22, 2018 / 5:52 pm

    Most definitely it’s a “we” journey! I have loved reading about the process and the amount of sacrifice involved on this path. Keep writing!

    • abyersguide
      Author
      March 22, 2018 / 6:19 pm

      Thank you so much, Jaymi ❤️❤️❤️ absolutely! Aw you’re so sweet

  10. March 22, 2018 / 6:41 pm

    Congratulations on the big move! It’s easy to see that you are going to fit in wherever you end up. And I am with you on the rant – that is something that you guys go through together. Good luck!

    • abyersguide
      Author
      March 22, 2018 / 8:29 pm

      Thank you so much. You’re so sweet. I’m going to really make an effort to fit in and make it an amazing time.

      I’m so glad you agree. Thank you again.

  11. Jeanie Shyne
    March 22, 2018 / 9:08 pm

    Courtney, you definitely have had a major part in Jake’s medical school years! Very proud of you and all you have accomplished while supporting him 110%. Continue to be “we” for all of your lives. Love you guys.

    • abyersguide
      Author
      March 23, 2018 / 6:49 am

      Thank you so much, Jeanie! We are so blessed to have such great support. We love y’all too.

  12. Lindsey Puls
    March 23, 2018 / 9:49 am

    Congratulations to the two of you, again! I can’t wait to read all about Birmingham! And my goodness, that person who wrote that email to you…what the heck? When I refer to my husband and I moving (for his job), it’s always a “we” thing. We’re in this together, and it can be just as stressful and hard being the partner of someone making the big life changes. Goodness! Go you for your response!

    • abyersguide
      Author
      March 23, 2018 / 2:35 pm

      Aw thank you, sweet Lindsey! I cannot wait to share Birmingham on my blog. It’s sooo cute.

      Oh gosh I don’t know? Their profile was private and it didn’t even have a name.

      That’s how we feel too. I’m so glad you agree. ❤️❤️ also thank you for being so kind always.

  13. Amanda Harmon
    March 23, 2018 / 10:57 am

    I am so stinkin’ happy for y’all! When Y’ALL found out where Y’ALL were matched, you had the entire room at the pipeliners reunion’s attention and excitement as well. As for the person who thought this is not a “WE” deal obviously doesn’t have a “WE” in his/her life. Trolls be trollin’… Seriously though this is going to be an amazing adventure for the BOTH of you, not just Jake. I am so proud for you BOTH and love y’all!

    • abyersguide
      Author
      March 23, 2018 / 2:37 pm

      Amanda, you are the sweetest! Thank you so much. We’re so blessed to have family friends like y’all that feel like family. That makes me so happy to hear. The pipeline family is so supportive and amazing.

      Exactly! I’m thinking they are a miserable person who doesn’t have a “we”.

      Aww we love y’all too. Please visit anytime. We will have a guest room

  14. March 24, 2018 / 7:29 pm

    Hi Courtney, I bet you are on a rollercoaster right now . The excitement for a new city and sadness to leave what you term Yours and Jake’s city. It cannot be easy. You have started your life together in OKC and are leaving behind a lot of friends . From following you this past year or so I know the seniors will miss you so. WE are in a HOA where i live and agree with the ridiculous nature of it too! I know you will be ok in Birmingham, the wives group sounds so welcoming and they will put you at ease. It is in great driving distance to some top cities, even if it is a journey from home for you. The outfit is so pretty, love how the kimono adds the splash of color. The journey is a “we” for both of you,there are 2 people making it. I am cheerleading for you Courtney! I am glad you are packing all of us with you and taking us with to Birmingham!!! Sending hugs and lots of love, Terri xo.

    • abyersguide
      Author
      March 26, 2018 / 11:23 am

      Terri, I cannot say it enough, but thank you for being so kind and encouraging. It really is emotional, but it will be a great experience.

      Hahah yes our HOA is so picky about dumb stuff.

      Birmingham will be a fun adventure. Cannot wait to post about our journey there

      I am so thankful to have you as a cheerleader. Xoxo

      • March 28, 2018 / 6:31 pm

        You are welcome Courtney! It will be a wonderful experience. Now where did i put them pom poms ?! Take care , Terri xo.

  15. March 25, 2018 / 3:57 pm

    Girly I loved this post! You are such a supportive wife and I love your attitude on life!

    • abyersguide
      Author
      March 26, 2018 / 10:01 am

      Aw thank you so much, Jess! What a sweet compliment

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