Life is all about perspective and choosing happiness. This is something I have really come to understand lately. When we found out we were moving to Birmingham I was extremely excited. I had always wanted to live in the South since I was little and I loved it when we took a trip here. I have continued to be excited about our new city up until Jake got really deep into his work routine. As a new resident physician, Jake works long hours with only 4 days off a month. When he comes home he is completely exhausted. This has been hard to get used to after he had so much free time during his last year of medical school. Also, moving many states away from family and friends is hard to adjust to. I am in the middle of searching for a job right now, so not having a routine has thrown me off. Needless to say, there has been a lot of change going on for me and at first I didn’t take it well.
You may have noticed that I haven’t been very consistent with blogging lately, and to be transparent, it’s because I have been in a major rut for the past month. I was starting to feel like I have lost myself and was struggling to even get the simplest task done like unpacking a box of clothes. I was desperate to get out of this rut, so I tried a lot of things to try to get back to myself. Luckily this week I have really felt like myself again and I am feeling motivated again.
Here are 8 tips that have helped me get out of my rut:
- Prayer/Devotion: When you’re struggling, it’s so important to lean on God. I always feel a weight lifted off of my shoulders when I give my problems to God. Prayer is something that has really helped me. It doesn’t always instantly help, but he does answer prayers. I also have found doing a morning daily devotion helps set the mood for my day and helps me start with a positive tone.
- Admitting To Myself That I am Struggling: It took me a while to realize that I was in a rut. When I finally admitted to myself that I was in a rut and needed to get out of it, that is when I started to feel a change.
- Talking To A Loved One: On Saturday after Jake got home from a shift at the hospital, it casually came up in conversation that I was struggling. I am the type of person who bottles up my feelings and telling Jake this really helped lift a weight off of my shoulders. It also helped me feel closer to him.
- Attitude/Give Yourself A Pep Talk: When I finally admitted to myself that I was in a rut, I found changing my attitude was a huge part of changing my feelings. It may sound silly, but I mentally gave myself a pep talk. This has made a huge difference for me. We are in control of our attitude, so being positive is so important no matter the situation.
- Getting Involved: I am more on the introverted side, so going to events where I know nobody is hard for me. I have started to branch out and attend local events with other residents’ wives and bloggers to start making friends. Getting involved and meeting people has helped a lot. I am also planning to get involved in a church as well.
- Create A Routine: Although I am not working yet other than a few part-time things, I have found that creating a routine is important for me. This has helped me start to settle in better.
- Exercise: Exercise releases endorphins, so getting exercise 2-3 times a week has definitely helps me feel better. Jake and I finally joined a gym and I am hoping to try some classes as well. I have such a love/hate relationship with working out, but I always feel so much better physically and mentally when I’m done.
- Set goals/Make A To-Do List: I have had A.D.D. my whole life, so setting a to-do list and making goals is very important to me. Part of the way I have been able to cope with my A.D.D. is getting extra organized. I am motivated by crossing off tasks I have completed. I’ll set goals for things as little as unpacking a certain number of boxes or submitting job applications.
About This Dress:
I wore this on a recent date night and loved how breezy it was. The white eyelet is perfect for right now. The chest is not lined, so I added a little bandeau. I ordered my normal size and would say it runs a little tight in the chest. I paired it with turquoise and a tassel on my purse to add a little pop of color.
I hope everyone has a great rest of their week! Now that I am finally feeling motivated again, I am getting organized and generating new content. I know we can all get in a rut from time to time. It is completely normal and we all go through it, and the important thing is to just keep your head up and pushing on.
Shop My Outfit:
I’m sorry you’ve been in a rut but I’m glad you’re coming out of it. I’ve been having a hard time adjusting to Edward’s M3 rotations too so far. So much more alone time than I’m used to… I don’t even want to think about what residency is going to be like for him/me/us… One day at a time, you know?
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Thanks, Kait! It’s okay! I think it’s completely normal to struggle with big changes. I’m so sorry you’re struggling with adjusting too. MS3 was definitely a hard year for us, but it flew by it seemed. Also, there were some rotations that were easier than others to balance it out. That’s how residency seems too. Yes, one day at a time. I’m finally getting to the point where I’m able to stay busy and enjoy some alone time. I hope y’all are loving your new town. I wish y’all were in Bham still.
Next time we come back maybe you & I can finally meet! He’s on internal medicine right now – I’m told that’s one of the tougher ones schedule-wise for an M3. I’m hoping that info is correct lol. He’s got neuro & psych next – which he’ll like better because he wants to be a psychiatrist.
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Yes definitely! Just let me know 🙂 yes, IM was definitely one of the tougher ones of MS3. That and surgery seemed to be the longest hours for Jake. Oh that’s perfect. He will love those. Jake especially loved psyh and his electives that he picked.
I can relate to this post on so many levels right now. When we bought our house I was feeling the exact same way, everything was such a challenge it felt like. And it was weird not having my husband around. Every single one of your tips is so spot on. It’s incredible what a difference exercise can make too! Once I get that into my routine, it helps so much.
I wish you nothing but the best in Birmingham and best of luck with the job hunt!
Lindsey
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Aww I am so sorry you went through that, but it’s nice to see I’m not alone. I am finally feeling way better and more organized. I think a lot of it was my attitude. You’re so sweet. I am hoping find the right job 🙂
Perfect accessories to go with a white dress!
https://www.bluelabelsboutique.com
https://www.fashionnotfear.com
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Thank you so much.
that’s such a pretty outfit and I love your purse!!
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Thank you so much. Happy Thursday
Oh, Courtney!! I love everything about this outfit!
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Thank you so much, Marta. I had fun with the pops of color.
I’m glad to see you were able to help yourself out of a rut! It’s not easy. I feel like any time you move to a new place, not having friends is hard. And it’s hard to make them as an adult! You can’t just walk up to people and ask them if they want to be your friend like you could in elementary school. Sounds like you’re taking all the steps to change things! Kudos to you. And thanks for this post. It makes the person behind the gorgeous insta pics seem even more real. <3
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Thank you so much for your kind words <3 It really was not easy, but admitting I was in a rut really helped. Also, changing my attitude was a huge step. I am so much happier now! It really isn't easy, but I am slowly making friends and it's feeling like home. Yes, it really is way harder as an adult. I miss those days where it was easy. That is so sweet of you to say.
Courtney, take it easy on yourself , it really hasn’t been that long. I know the days can seem unending when you are alone. Take it from another woman who has followed an ambitious spouse far and wide for nearly 40 years it’s worth it, very difficult at times but worth it! Your list of tips is great. Take care.
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Thank you so much for your kind words and encouragement. It really is nice to hear from a woman who has been through moves with an ambitious spouse that it’s worth it. I am finally feeling out of my rut and am trying to remember it can be worse and to make the best of everything.
I love that turquoise necklace!
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Thank you so much! I have a thing for turquoise
Hi Courtney , I am sending big virtual hugs your way!! I know how it is settling into a new city . It can be two steps forward and 1 back. It is a hard situation where the hospital and you are both craving time with Jake , for different reasons , and that is a lot of days work for him. You can only make the most of your short time together. It does leave you having a lot of time by yourself and that causes its own issues. I am glad you are feeling motivated again. I do need to take a leaf from your book and trust in the lord more. Our church does adoration to the blessed Sacrament on the first friday, where you go and sit in the presence of God and pray. Admitting to one self there is an issue is the first step. Its good Jake is there to hear your struggles. I know I am more introverted too, I have to push myself get out and mix. A church is a perfect place to meet new people, all brothers and sisters in Christ waiting to meet you and vice versa!! Keep your head my Dear blogging friend , The dress is gorgeous , you never cease to amaze Me!! Take care and sending you more hugs, Terri xo.
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Aww Terri, I can always count on you to best so sweet and have something to make my day 🙂 Thank you for all of your support. I sooo appreciate you and am thankful for “meeting” you through blogging. Settling really can be hard, but I am finally feeling good again. Jake is soooo busy right now. He only gets 4 days off a month, so that is hard. I am trying to remind myself it could be worse, so be thankful no matter what.
I really hope i can be here for you in hte good times and the tougher times. We are in this blogging family together and you feel like a Sister to me!! We do need to be thankful to God , he has a plan for all of us. Take care, hugs, Terri xo.
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Awww thank you so much, Terri ❤️❤️ yes absolutely. We are!
1) love the tassel on your purse – you look beautiful as always!
2) I’m so sorry it has been a rough adjustment! I know I’d feel the exact same way if I were you. When I first moved to OKC, Cole was the only person I knew in town and I went through a similar rut. I hated my job and didn’t have any friends in town, plus we weren’t married or even engaged so I didn’t want to crowd Cole’s space or overstep any boundaries by being at his house all the time. Exercise is definitely what helped me (and I made friends that way, too). The good news is that things always turn back around! 🙂
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Aww Amanda, you’re always the sweetest! I am thankful to have your support. It really is hard, but I know i’ll get through it like you did. Ohhh thats such a good idea. I am hoping to join a Barre class and maybe some other classes to hopefully meet some ladies and get in better shape. That is so true.
Trying something new is always a great way to get out of a rut. Or picking up a hobby you used to love.
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This is sooo true! It really helps you get of of the trap. Yes, I am trying to pick up blogging again. I have gotten really bad about it this summer and now am feeling inspired again
You are beautiful! I agree change is always hard and especially when you move from the familiar. I know there have been times I just wanted to talk to someone who would know what I was talking about without explaining everything. However, life is a journey and when we are taken to new places there is a new purpose and it can be fun to explore those places. Praying you will find your place and new friends to help you settle in and feel more like home.
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Aww thank you so much ! Absolutely, God has a plan for us. I’m finally feeling at peace with our new place and slowly making friends.
These photos are beautiful! Working out always gets me out of my rut. Also, creating lists and planning things out as well.
Love this post!
xo Logan
https://peculiarporter.com
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Thank you so much, Logan! Yes, these help me so much too.