20 Things My 20s Taught Me

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It’s my 30th birthday! As I enter a new decade with this huge birthday, I wanted to reflect on what my 20s taught me. My 20s were an extremely diverse decade where I grew up more than I could imagine.The first couple years of my 20s I was in college (I graduated at 22), and then I got married at 23. I always knew I was going to get married young and am thankful I did. It has been such a blessing to get to enjoy my entire 20s with Jake by my side as we have grown up together. My 20s were a decade where I had a lot of fun, made a lot of mistakes, but I grew up a ton, especially this year. I found myself in my 20s and to be honest, I’m excited to be 30. I have a feeling it will be a great decade ahead!

20 things my 20s taught me (not in any order):

1.Get out of my comfort zone: My 20s have taught me to get out of my comfort zone in many circumstances, especially with my blog. I was afraid that everyone would laugh at me (heck, they probably did and still do), but I am proud that I put myself out there. You never get anywhere without getting out of your comfort zone. Jake has had to remind me of this many times as I have been scared to apply for jobs or do things I was nervous to do. Our move to Birmingham also especially got us out of our comfort zone, as we moved across the country away from everybody we know to a city where we knew nobody.

2.Growth: In the past year especially, I have grown up more than any other year after becoming a mom. In the early part of my 20s, I was pretty immature. Jake and I basically grew up together. My priorities have changed a lot as a mother and I’m proud of the person I have grown up to be.

3.Independence: With Jake’s busy career path/training I have had to learn to be independent and enjoy time to myself. When I was in college I hated to be alone, but now I actually enjoy some alone time. Blogging has really taught me how to be independent and do something for myself. It has been something that has given me so much purpose, too.

4.Love: My 20s have taught me so much about love. I got married to the of my life at 23, and having a baby is the greatest love I’ve ever felt. I will never be able to put in words the feeling of love that ran through me when we met Scarlett. There is no love like a mama has for her child.

5.Motherhood: I wrote about finding motherhood here. I will be honest, I was terrified of not being a good mom. I was the one who was holding us back from starting a family. Eventually I just knew it was time and had to trust myself that I would figure it out. Being a mom has been the best gift I’ve ever received and I have learned to be selfless and put her needs before mine. Motherhood has been the greatest journey of my life. It really puts things in perspective and is the greatest love.

6.Be myself/do what makes me happy: In my teens I always tried to follow what was “cool” and fit in. My 20s have taught me to embrace being myself and to do what truly makes me happy.

7.Trust the Lord/things happen for a reason: The Lord has shown me in many circumstances that His plan is better than mine. Two specific examples that come to mind are when Jake was going through residency match. I was an anxious mess and He taught me he’s in control  (full blog post here). Also, when I was trying to get pregnant and it didn’t happen after a few months, the Lord taught me his plan is better than mine (post here). I’m so thankful for His plan because we wouldn’t have Scarlett (it would be another baby) if we got pregnant earlier. I fully believe everything happens for a reason and the Lord has shown me this time after time in my 20s. I am so thankful for His plan.

8.Traveling and experiences are greater than material things: In my younger years I was all about material things. While I still like them, I have learned that traveling/experience are way more enjoyable than things. I am hoping to teach Scarlett this as well.

9.Don’t compare yourself: “Comparison is the thief of joy.”

10.Stop caring what people think of you: When I was younger I cared so much about what people thought about me. Starting a blog helped me get tough skin. Not everyone is going to like me and that is perfectly fine.

11. Save money/don’t keep up with the Joneses: I have always been pretty good with money, but when I was younger I always had to have the trendy items. I have learned that saving money is way more important than trying to have all the newest and flashiest stuff. I have learned to really think about purchases before I make them as well.

12. Family is everything: Our families have always been extremely important to us, but I have especially learned this in my 20s. I am so grateful that we both have amazing families that we truly enjoy being around. I hope to move back closer to them very soon.

13.Collaboration over competition: Blogging has especially taught me collaboration over competition. We rise so much higher when we lift each other up than when we try to push others down below us.

14.Its okay to make mistakes: I made so many mistakes in my 20s, but honestly they made me stronger, and I wouldn’t be who I am today without those learning experiences.

15.Quality over quantity: I have learned this in many ways with friendships and things.

16. Be present

17.Attitude is everything

18.Give thanks: I have learned to always start my prayers by giving thanks for all of the blessings.

19.Self love and health:  Being a mom has taught me to love my body and how great the woman body is. I have learned to take better care of myself and health in my 20s too.

20.Importance of slowing down



  1. jenniferpickering22gmailcom
    February 1, 2021 / 6:11 am

    Happy Birthday Courtney!

    Curated By Jennifer

    • abyersguide
      February 2, 2021 / 4:17 pm

      Thanks, Jennifer!

    • abyersguide
      February 2, 2021 / 3:01 pm

      Aw thanks, Annaliese! 🙂

  2. February 2, 2021 / 5:19 pm

    Love this! Hope you had an amazing birthday!

    • abyersguide
      February 2, 2021 / 9:50 pm

      Thanks, Lauren. It was a fun day.

  3. February 3, 2021 / 9:35 am

    I agree with all of these! Happy birthday to you!

  4. February 3, 2021 / 10:51 am

    I love this!!!! Twenties are so filled with many lessons!!!

    • abyersguide
      February 21, 2021 / 9:02 pm

      Thank you, they really are.

  5. February 3, 2021 / 5:46 pm

    Happy birthday Courtney. These are great points.

  6. February 4, 2021 / 9:51 pm

    Hi Courtney, happy birthday to you Girl! I think I grew up a lot in my 20s also! It is so sweet you and Jake got to spend your entire 20s together. I am right with you on the comfort zone, I have needed a push also on my side. And… your blog is amazing ! The only times I laugh in relation to your blog is when you have a funny incident or event to share! Independence is great for all of us to grow from within. Definitely be yourself! God lets us know that he does know best , he knew Birmingham was the place for you to be, and you are right, you would have another baby right now and not Scarlett, God’s timing was perfect! We should not care what people think of us . That is for them to figure out. Giving thanks to God is the best. What a lovely collaboration you put together , thanks for sharing , Terri xo.

    • abyersguide
      March 15, 2021 / 4:34 pm

      Aww thank you so much, Terri! The 20s are really a time to learn about life. I hope you’re doing well <3

  7. February 23, 2021 / 12:25 pm

    Happy belated birthday, Courtney! I really loved reading this post. #1 and #6 are such great reminders for me, personally.

    • abyersguide
      March 15, 2021 / 11:44 am

      Thanks, sweet Lindsey!

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